Wednesday, April 21, 2010

From Death to Rebirth, the Metamorphosis

Hello Beloved Brothers and SiStars,

It has been some time since I have posted anything. I have been going through a huge transformation process which was ignited via a healing crisis for me. Because of this I had to close my business last year and take a hiatus for a while. The short version is I discovered I had an auto immune disorder/imbalance in Sept. It has affected me on multiple levels with tissue inflammation and pain, allergies, drained adrenal glands, low energy, etc. This invoked more tears and feelings of fear, like myself and my world was falling apart. This period has been challenging, emotional and also amazing. I was put in a position where I felt powerless and could not do much. Meaning, some everyday tasks that are normally easy were difficult for me. I had to learn to ask for help and just let go. There were days I felt like I was going out of my mind (lol) from having to sit still and relax. I have not said much to anyone about this transition besides a few who know me well, since it is personal plus there is not much one can say. ;) But by sharing it here, it helps to get it out and I share for all of you and what I've learned in hopes that it may help you in some way. In the beginning of the shift for me, I felt that since I am a healer, I had in some way failed- by not fully seeing the truth nor completely helping and healing myself. Truly though there are no mistakes; just choices and experiences. It is that we choose to overcome the challenges that matter. Many healers and lightworkers go through difficult trials like this and even healing crisis as a doorway to evolving and truly becoming. It does not make you any “less” of healer or person, or less powerful, even if it may feel that way sometimes. And while we go through these periods, we do often need to disconnect and focus on ourselves, truly listen to our hearts, find our inner joy.

We may find ourselves saying no more to others or requests and simplifying our lives so we can just “be.” For me, certain things I used to do or people I used to spend time with no longer felt right for me. At times I looked in the mirror and was like “What the hell? What is happening to me?” I can't help but chuckle a bit as I write it now yet at the time it was quite unnerving. Much of my life fell away because it had to, so I could move on to the new. So much has shifted within me and keeps shifting. I continue to peel the layers of the onion and connect more with whom I really am, the Goddess within.

I also want to say thank you to all of you who read here and for your kind thoughts, words and prayers. It all means the world to me and I do believe with all my heart it all makes a difference.

I have chosen empowerment and gratitude for this experience, and I know I will heal completely, for I already am. It has lead me to a place I never could have imagined.

And for those of you going through difficult periods, whether it be your health, relationships, or any situation… or if it just feels like nothing is happening for you no matter how much you pray or how much you put into action, have faith. There are definitely Divine reasons for this. Our souls and the Universe always has a bigger plan in store, especially when we are on the enlightenment/ ascension path. One of the best things you can do is take some time to listen to the still voice within and ask for Divine guidance, be open to receiving it. Earth herself is going through huge shifts now; I believe everyone is. Sometimes we need to be still, as things are lining up for us. In addition, we are also 're-calibrating' so to speak. There are matters of Divine timing and our heart's desires are not something we can force, we just have to have faith and learn to enjoy the moment. A new chapter is unfolding. After our ducks are all in a row, then everything falls into place perfectly.

Also, so much is cleared away from within us during the healing and ascension process. It definitely takes a toll on a person at times- on multiple levels- depending on what you are healing. It always passes and we feel much lighter again. So there is a need to be in a safe space during this process. We may even be forced to get out of our own way ( the ego just loves to resist change! Lol) And we find we are searching for something even deeper within ourselves, deeper connection to Spirit/Source, a more simple way of living, loving deeply or learning to love more ( including and especially ourselves) among many other possible things! We are searching for Divinity, awe, magick, love, the God/Goddess within. To me, this is what healing truly is, re-connecting to our inner Divinity, our true Divine selves; and realizing and re-membering we are all beings of love and light and that we are all connected with all of life. As we do this, the old and any darkness falls away. We all deserve love, joy, abundance, all that is good. Remember to celebrate all of your steps, for each one is important and a contribution. You are honoring yourself & the Divine by taking care of yourself and your needs. As you heal yourself, you are also healing the collective.

Below I am including a story about a butterfly, that I find so inspiring and true!

Oceans of cosmic love, blessings and bouquets of gratitude to all of you

A story is told of a caterpillar named Yellow who was trying to find out what she should be doing with her life. In her wanderings she discovered another caterpillar seemingly caught in some gauzy, hairy filament. Concerned, she asked if she could help. He explained that this was all part of the process of becoming a butterfly.
When she heard the word butterfly, her whole insides leapt. “But what is a butterfly?”

The cocooned caterpillar explained: “It’s what you are meant to become.”
Yellow was intrigued but a bit defiant. “How can I believe there’s a butterfly inside you or me when all I see is a fuzzy worm?”
On further reflection she pensively asked, “How does one become a butterfly?”
And the answer?
“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

(From Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers [New York: Paulist Press, 1972], pp. 67- 75.)

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